Why I Don't Do No-spend Months

Why do I think no-spend months are a bad idea, you ask? Two words: mom guilt. This isn’t the kind of mom guilt that affects either working moms or stay-at-home moms; it’s the kind that gets to all of us. The kind of irrational, pointless guilt we inflict upon ourselves because we think we are doing something good for our family but life happens and then: BOOM! Guilt.

Think of it this way: you’re bumping along on day seven of No-spend April. Then your college roommate Sarah calls and says she’s in town for the weekend and wants to get together for breakfast. Now, you haven’t seen Sarah since your youngest was born three years ago, but...it’s No-spend April. Do you go, and feel guilty for spending the money during a no-spend month; or do you not go, and feel sad and maybe a little resentful for missing time with your old friend? Or, even worse, do you try to explain your No-spend April plan and invite her over, inciting a “Flight of the Bumblebee”cleaning frenzy after the kids go to bed Friday night so your house doesn’t look like the intro scene from Hoarders? What I’m getting at here is that no-spend months create guilt, and trying to work around that guilt creates the other enemy to happiness: stress.

I’ll give you another example. It’s day 21 of No-Spend April, and besides that one slip-up with Sarah earlier in the month (which you still feel a tad guilty for because that was $15 you could have put towards your vacation fund), you’ve been pretty good. Now you get home and find that the new puppy chewed both ends off of your yoga mat. Yoga is part of your routine, the way you keep your sanity between potty training, and puppy training, and keeping the house clean, and your family fed. Yoga is your you time. Yes, you could use a towel until No-Spend April is over. Yes, it’s only nine more days. But that would be nine days of slipping across the tile on your bath towel in airplane pose while grumbling over the new puppy’s chewing habits. I’m not feeling the mom Zen in this situation. So just go, spend the $18.99 on a new yoga mat, and let it go (p.s. keep the new yoga mat in the closet!).

Now of course the examples above might not fit you or your life at all. Maybe you and your best friend are raising your kids next door to each other, and maybe you hate yoga. I’m willing to bet my last cup of coffee that you can relate to the examples above though, and I hope you’re starting to see why the no-spend month isn’t all it’s hyped up to be. Sure it’s great for your finances, but it’s not so great for your emotional state.

          What to do instead, you ask? Balance and budget. I don’t mean balance your budget, that’s a given. I mean seek balance, and keep a budget. Allow yourself money within your budget for those little things that come up that keep you (and your husband and kids, for that matter) sane, even when they come up a little unexpectedly. You might go bonkers if you don’t allow yourself the freedom for self care (i.e. time with friends, exercise, hobbies, whatever).  That’s where the balance comes in. Now when it comes to those things that are truly impulse buys (hello Target home décor aisle), change your habits. Stay away from those spending triggers, until it is truly suitable in your budget to go shopping for them. Waiting until those peacock throw pillows go on end of season clearance probably won’t be the last straw before you try to hide in your kid’s tree house with a travel mug full of wine. Feeling guilty over spending $15-20 on yourself when life happens, be it an opportunity for relaxation or recovering from a mishap, is just a way we moms set ourselves up for failure. Let go of the no-spend idea. Seek balance and make a budget, change your impulse buying habits, and reap the rewards month after month.